#so effing stressed out

[swanthief]

SWANFIRE OUTLANDER AU YOU SAY????

first of all LOVE that we all understand The Vision and Genious of this au. second of all you guys really are gonna make me do something w this huh 😂

[reasonsforhope]

Workbooks to improve executive functioning

Since the post I made last night about improving executive functioning was so popular, I figured I should pull these out of my comments and give them their own post, in case it's helpful for people.

I have worked with the publishers of all of the books linked below and can vouch for their psychology books. The publisher of most of them, New Harbinger, is an extremely credible evidence-based psychology publisher.

Obvious disclaimer that everyone's brain is different and what works for someone else may not work for you.

Is there evidence that executive functioning can be improved? Yes. This book appears to be a very thorough overview of the field, and contains both advocates and detractors of cognitive training, for a balanced perspective. From the table of contents, I would really recommend jumping straight to Part 3: Developmental Perspectives for executive functioning (EF) writ large.

Certain therapy modalities are specifically designed for skill-building in areas like impulsivity, decision-making, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility, all of which are EF skills or very dependent on EF skills. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is probably the best field to look at for these - skill-building in those areas is its core goal.

Some DBT workbooks:

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Teens

There are also a lot of workbooks for ADHD that are sometimes more broad but also can help with executive functioning:

The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life

The CBT Workbook for Adult ADHD: Evidence-Based Exercises to Improve Your Focus, Productivity, and Wellbeing

The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD

General executive functioning workbooks:

The Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens

Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults: Exercises to Help You Get Organized, Stay Focused, and Achieve Your Goals

Hope these are helpful to someone!!

[ppyopulii]

📋 the study of prosody | ft. yoon jeonghan

PREVIEW. pros·​o·​dy. noun. the patterns of stress and intonation in a language. an example of its use would be the study of the following phrases: i.) if you want me, ii.) if you want me, iii.) if you want me.

FEATURING. stargazer!yoon jeonghan x linguist!reader GENRE(S). yearning, fluff, friends to lovers, suggestive (minors beware.) LENGTH | WC. <20min | 3.4k words EXPLICITS. cursing, one (1) mention of a spider, r ends up on yjh’s lap, car makeout session, light marking, grinding, yjh calls r sweetheart, lowk sub!r & sub!yjh (they are so effing down bad for one another)

JAY’S MUSINGS. been in the Craziest jeonghan brainrot for So long. someone help. for my beloved ashi, @junplusone, as we will now unfortunately promptly disappear again as stem major curriculums pick up once more. i offer u my love thru begging jeonghan. tysm for beta-reading. (p.s. slightly inspired by @mochacoda's night d(r)ive!! there is so much love written into her words it consumes me whole. pls go take a look <3)

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE. if you want me, you better speak up by ljh // understand by keshi // striptease by carwash // touch tank by quinnie // better half by jeonghan (ft. omoinotake)

i.) if you want me,

“Bog time?”

Jeonghan looks up from the GPS on his phone, an eyebrow quirked up at your out of the blue words. He has the address of a random park punched into the navigation, finger hovering over the Start Route button, but he easily swipes out of the tab as if it was a mere thought in the back of his mind.

“And what might you mean by,” he lazily curls two fingers in the air in quotation marks, “Bog time?”

To his question, you simply offer your phone to him. There’s a curve to his smile as he takes the device and stares at the screen; it’s directions to a wetland park about nine minutes out from your location, in some suburban neighborhood. Pictures show a few benches around the small pond and a trail leading behind to the forest.

You beam at him, eyes sparkling in the sun’s last rays of the day, like a pet showing its owner a present they brought back from the outside. “A bog! Have you ever been to one?”

Jeonghan hands you back your phone, fingers sliding against yours, and looks to the sky thoughtfully. He rests his hand on the steering wheel of his sleek black Toyota Camry, the leather glinting with shine, tapping his finger to a beat you wished you knew.

“Not until tonight, I haven’t,” is his smooth answer; and before you know it, he’s pulling the shift into drive and pressing hard on the gas.

Loving Yoon Jeonghan is easy.

It’s more of an afterthought for you at this point. You grab the last bag of his favorite chips at the convenience store? He’s planning his move to steal it as if you weren’t going to surrender it to him without a fight, but you play along anyway to indulge him. There’s a spider in the kitchen? He’s cheering you on for moral support as you grab a cup and some paper to trap it, but it takes one tremble of your hands for him to click his tongue, say you’re too slow, and get the job done for you.

His quick-witted, ever playful banter keeps you on your toes. You thrive in the presence of him like a sponge soaking up as much water as it can—except, unfortunately for you, you’re constantly on the verge of having it all flood out and drowning in it.

Because while loving Yoon Jeonghan is easy, wanting him is a whole different story.

Loving doesn’t result in an ache in your heart every time he talks about his latest date with someone. Loving doesn’t cause the burning pit in your stomach that surfaces when he leans over, just right, to whisper something only meant for your ears.

Love, to you, is the noun you hold for Jeonghan, stored in your hands when you light-heartedly swat him away with a tsk—and want is the verb that jumps out of you when he effortlessly catches your wrist in his hand, honey eyes gleaming in your lamp’s light.

“Yah, we’re here.”

His teasing tone snaps you out of your thoughts, and you blink in surprise. There’s no parking lot; his car is stalled on the side of the road, the headlights flickering for a moment before turning off.

“Where’s the bog?” you tilt your head in different directions, trying to get an unsuccessful glimpse of your surroundings.

Jeonghan snorts and pushes a lock of blonde hair behind his ear. “You tell me, dude. Can’t see shit out here.”

“Language,” you scold, before unlocking your side of the car and stepping out onto the sidewalk.

The neighborhood is quiet save for the occasional hoot of an owl and the wind’s loud escapades through the trees. You shiver and tuck yourself into the knitted sweater you had chosen for tonight, the wind picking up ever so slightly as if to mock your choice of clothing. Jeonghan is on your side before you can even think of yanking him out of the car, much to your dismay. He shuts your door and shines the flashlight of his phone onto the dewy lawn grass.

“What even is a bog?” Jeonghan queries as the two of you begin to walk in a seemingly random direction. “Just a wetland?”

“Basically, yeah. The thing we’re going too isn’t really a bog. More of a pond with some swamp aspects. I just think bog’s a funny word.”

Your shoes scrape against the cement. From Jeonghan’s light, you can see up ahead that just across the road is the sign from your Google Search, signifying your destination is close. Your eyes trace the trail winding behind it into the forest.

“Explain it to me.”

Startled, you glance back. Jeonghan’s face is faintly illuminated from the light bouncing off of you. If you were to focus well enough, you would be able to outline the slope of his cheekbone and the way some strands of his hair brushed against it ever so softly.

“The word bog? Are you serious? It’s really nothing,” you try to argue, turning back around.

“Come on. Try me.”

You heave a sigh. “Alright. If you want me to.”

“Yah. ‘Course I want you to.”

The air feels a little thicker now, but you swallow the feeling back and press forward as the grass gets taller. You wish it was warmer; maybe, if you were lucky, you’d be able to hear the night calls of a toad, or see fireflies milling about the shoreline.

“Gaelic origin, mostly. Just an adjective that describes something that’s soft and damp. There’s also some roots back to Ireland—they had a word that describes moist ground.”

While you’re explaining, Jeonghan carefully takes the lead, shining his flashlight onto the wooden sign marking the entrance to the trail and oncoming wetland. He hums in response.

“Nerd.”

You smack his shoulder blade.

“Ow—fuck, okay, I’m sorry!”

He’s laughing, and like the death of a star your anger explodes into oblivion, rolling your eyes good-naturedly as you shove him with your elbow. “You were the one who asked.”

“Ah, I suppose you’re right.” You glance at Jeonghan from within your peripherals while he speaks. There’s a flicker of surprise as you take note of his small smile that curls with an emotion you can’t quite read.

“Can’t help it, y’know,” he muses aloud. “To want is a cruel thing.”

ii.) if you want me,

Your breath evens as the concrete path gradually gives way to wooden boardwalk. The two of you walk quietly side by side, the water’s surface still and reflecting the moon’s light from above. Jeonghan had mentioned earlier that it was a waxing gibbous, and that a super moon would be occurring in a few nights’ time.

Moments were always stolen with Jeonghan—not because you two didn’t have the time for each other, but more so because you two seemed to have all the time in the world to spend in each other’s presence. Inseparable like the twin stars marked by the constellation dubbed Gemini, you grew so used to his existence that it took outrageously spontaneous adventures like this one to really cherish him.

Or, in this particular case, curse him and his ever observant nature.

“You want me to do what?”

“Just come here,” he urges, opening his arms a little wider.

Your hesitance is palpable, but ultimately, you relent, wiggling your way into his warm embrace. His hoodie is worn with seasons of journeys that you’ve accompanied him on, and it’s always been a comfort you’ve relied on for warmth.

Just… never with him alongside it.

“There you go,” Jeonghan’s lips skim the crown of your hairline and you shudder, the motion backfiring on you when he only presses you closer to him. “Y’know, you usually know better than to wear the thinnest knitted sweater known to man on a night like this.”

“You could’ve just given me your hoodie, you know.”

He shrugs. “Didn’t want to do that. Then I’d be freezing. This is a win-win.”

“You’re insufferable,” you say, and bury yourself further against the fabric.

The self-proclaimed bog is forgotten as the two of you find more interesting things to take notice of. Once more, a comfortable quiet overtakes you two, with your eyes following the sway of a tree’s branches and Jeonghan focused on the sky above. A moment to journal about later, maybe, with a fern taken and pressed to be studied after it dried. Perhaps tonight you’d snag the formidable prickles of the pine tree nearby. You’d always be interested in how words took shape after nature, the conifer’s history included.

As if on cue, Jeonghan’s voice is pulling you out of your thoughts in asking about the tree before you two. You respond in turn about the specifics of the pine.

“Doesn’t that have another meaning? Pine?”

“Mhm,” you hum noncommittally. “The tree existed first, then the verb pine came about later; means to long for or seek after, similar to yearning. They both actually stem from two different Latin words—pine tree from pinus and pining from poena. Cool how they ended up as the same word though, huh?”

Jeonghan is surprisingly still for a while. Leaves rustle nearby, being stirred by the wind, and you bite your lip.

Even though he’s heard you ramble about nonsense background contexts of words a thousand times over, the silence scares you. Sometimes you still fear Jeonghan will be bored by your constant, monotone voice, as if he was only listening to reply rather than understand.

“Hey, look up. D’you see those three stars up there?”

You glance above the tree you’re studying and nod against the fabric of his hoodie. The three stars in question are a straight shot line, banded together diagonally like a belt. Above those, another group of stars come together to form the torso of a man, one arm held out to hold something akin to a bow.

“Orion and his belt,” you confirm. “You’ve told me his story before—the hunter who boasted about killing all animals, right? I remember arguing about the right myth to follow.”

“Yeah, well, there’s more to it,” Jeonghan chuckles and wraps his arms a smidge tighter around you. You try to ignore the electricity shooting through your veins, piercing your heart like a lightning strike.

He lowers his face so that his mouth is close, so close, right by your ear. Freeing one of his hands from your embrace, he tilts your chin up with his fingers ever so slightly, pointing at a faint cluster of stars somewhere above and to the right. You squint your eyes to focus better as Jeonghan softly begins his story.

“The Pleiades were seven sisters who were sought after by Orion. Their father was Atlas, the Titan condemned to holding up the sky, and once barred to his eternal punishment, Orion took this chance to begin his pursuit. He was persistent in his chase for the sisters, wanting to win any of their favors through any means possible. Zeus eventually had enough of Orion’s attempts and turned the Pleiades into doves to free them; however, they asked to be placed in the sky to be closer to their father. That’s how the constellation we know of now came to be formed. Unfortunately for them, Orion took to the skies soon after and continues to chase them to this day.”

It’s your turn to fall speechless. Something about the tale makes your bottom lip jut out in a solemn expression; eternal punishment of any form, be it to hold up the sky for forever or to be chased unwillingly by a hunter in various forms, makes your heart ache. You stubbornly hope there is an end to your own suffering, fingers shaking as Jeonghan pulls his hand away from cupping your face.

“Don’t worry, though,” he whispers; his tone is so gentle it has you leaning into him subconsciously. “The Pleiades are safe. All Orion can do is long for, or pine after them, as you so dutifully defined for me earlier.”

“I’m glad.” Your voice, low and full of emotion, is almost lost to the wind as it begins to surge. “Sometimes feelings just can’t be returned, no matter how much we desire them to be. I would want them to be happy.”

You stare woefully at the sisters. Jeonghan’s gaze remains fixated on you.

“Me too.”

iii.) if you want me.

As you stare up at Orion and the Pleiades, your gaze rests on the silhouette of the tree before the two of you. The branches sway in the wind, catching the breeze, and you trail the outline of the tree across the sky. From just the right angle, Orion seems to lean against the pine, his weight being supported by the sturdy evergreen like it had grown specifically for him to rest upon. The thought makes you smile.

“Isn’t it crazy?” comes your muffled murmur from against the material of his hoodie; Jeonghan makes a noise for you to continue.

“Just.. how perfectly nature fits within itself sometimes, like one big recurring metaphor. As if the mother of the universe finds her favorite verses in the stars and rewrites them over and over because she can’t get enough of them.”

The wind begins to die down; there’s no need for you to be bundled up within Jeonghan’s arms, but you stay, waiting with bated breath for his response.

“How so?”

Perhaps it’s the late hour that boldens you with no room for overthinking, your phones tucked neatly away in your pockets as to not distract you. Your heart is throwing itself against your ribcage as you muster up a confession.

“There’s so many tales like Orion and the Pleiades, as sad as it is. But there are just as many triumphs as there are tragedies, all recreated over and over. The universe—she’s trying to tell us something. She’s telling us to find love in each other, and therefore, in ourselves.”

You swallow back any possible regret and finish, “Personally, I think I’ve received the message pretty well through you.”

There’s a sharp intake of air. You feel Jeonghan exhale a breath, tingling your skin, and his lips are so close they kiss the shell of your ear as they move.

“I agree. I guess we are yet another recreation of her favorite tale of love, then.”

Something shifts in you; an unspoken agreement that has your head reeling when he doesn’t let you slip away from him on the way back to the car. Your fingers are grasped lightly in his, and soft giggles tumble out of you when he fumbles to open the door of your side. They fall silent as he slides in, adjusting the chair back and looking up at you expectantly. His hand is out for you to take.

“Well?” is all he says, and the single word’s implication hits you like a freight truck.

Aren’t you going to be with me?

The wind howls, delighted and amped up from the excitement swirling within you. Your hair whips around your face protectively, tears beginning to stain the apples of your cheeks. There is nothing in your mind except for the way Jeonghan’s wisps of blonde hair fall away from their place behind his ears. You ache to fix them.

“Are you sure?” is all you can croak out.

His eyes shine in the moonlight, and with no hesitation he replies, “Yes, if you want me.”

Your weight rests on his lap in a painfully easy manner. The car door clicks shut and is swiftly locked, and before you know it, Jeonghan’s hands are settled around your waist.

“Hi.” You squeak ever so eloquently.

Jeonghan has his face mere inches away from you. His nose tickles yours in a sheepish laugh. “Hi to you, too.”

“Did you mean it?” you blurt out with trembling fingers, daring to clutch onto the hem of his sweater as if he’ll blow away with no warning. “Are you serious about this?”

“I haven’t even said anything yet,” he teases. “Are you saying I’ve been implying something tonight?”

“I want to say so. I want to believe that you have been.”

The way your name falls off his tongue is pure silk, and you swear he’s reinvented a new meaning to it just now. Who knew that meanings could be born from different intonations?

“Please,” Jeonghan breathes your name again; it’s a borderline whine that rushes the air out of your lungs. “Just let me want you. I’ve been denied it for so long.”

The kiss that follows is searing, burning with the desire you’ve wrestled with shoving back into your throat until now. You aren’t entirely sure who’s lips pressed to who’s first, but what you are sure of is the moan that slips from Jeonghan’s mouth, his breathing harsh and ragged.

“Fuck,” he mutters, and you have half the mind to tell him to mind his language again when he interrupts you by squeezing your waist. “You’re so goddamn hot.”

Laughter bubbles out of you. Jeonghan glances up at you in surprise, his eyelashes fluttering with confusion. You giggle and cup his cheek.

“Weren’t you just versing poetry to me thirty seconds ago? What happened to that?”

He just shrugs and leans forward to press a feverish kiss to your lips. “The duality of man.”

“The duality of man, indeed,” you murmur.

Your fingernails scrape along his neck enticingly, tangling in the tufts of his blonde hair. You give an experimental tug and revel in the gasp he lets out, a whimper being drawn out of you.

Jeonghan tilts your chin up and begins to pepper your jawline with kisses, each more passionate than the last. He’s pushing your sweater’s neckline to the side by the time he reaches your collarbone, spurred on by your quiet moans and high intones of his name, nipping marks into your skin. Red blooms across your shoulders from his love bites.

“I didn’t know you were a biter,” you quip through gasps. “Should’ve figured, though.”

His fingers, running along your curves from under your sweater, suddenly pinch your butt. You yelp and whine at his antics while Jeonghan just laughs.

“Better than you, sweetheart,” he smirks, rubbing circles into your skin as a silent apology. “All bark, no bite.”

You kiss him to shut him up, tongue sliding against his before beginning to suck on his bottom lip. He tastes like the honey lemon tea you shared earlier at the cafe. You wonder if you taste the same.

A wave of heat scores through you at the thought, wanting nothing more than to eternally be enveloped by his scent, his taste, his everything. You don’t even realize how hard your hips are pressing into his until he breaks the kiss with a groan, bucking up into you with a delicious sigh.

You feel him, hard and hot and sorely needy, and you take the chance to grind back down against him, adoring the way his shuddering lips chase yours. The world is lost to you; all you know is Yoon Jeonghan, and he simply is enough.

“I want you,” you suddenly say, pausing to take in the sight below you.

His cheeks are flushed, yours no doubt no better, and his hoodie is barely hanging on to the lower half of his torso. Pale, muscled skin peeks out and tenses at your touch sliding up his abdomen. Jeonghan is glowing, and tears prick the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by emotion.

“I want you,” you repeat, lips ghosting his. “But I want you to want me, too. Do you?”

“Dumb question,” he whispers back. “That’s never been something to ask of me. It’s always been pure fact, like the origin of the word bog. Pine has different Latin roots, Orion chases the Pleiades, and I want you.”

A sigh escapes you, and you let yourself press once more to him, answering his confession with a kiss.

 I want you. Your body, made by the universe, retells your story over and over as it moves in time with his own. I want you and I want you to want me and I want us.

Jeonghan eagerly kisses you in return as if to say, Go ahead then, take me. Take it all. I want you.

Take everything in me, and leave nothing left but us.

[saweetdolly]

⊹₊⟡⭒˚.⋆ " 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐎 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋"

pairing ~ thanos / choi su-bong x f!reader

warnings ~ 18+ minors dni, dirty talk, phone sex, praising, masturbation, thanos wants that cookie so effing bad, oral (both receiving), facial, mentions of drug consumption, dom!thanos & sub!reader

summary ~ a facetime call between you and your bestfriend escalates into more when you start reminiscing about past occurrences

wc ~ 2.8k

a/n ~ hii babies! i've seen all your requests and i'm so excited to write them for you, so please be patient and i promise i'll get to all of them! i'm currently posting all my drafts so enjoyy this longgg thanos smut cause he's sexy asf >.< and all my rauw girlies recognize this title :3 rmb to eat and drink ur water babies!

your phone continuously buzzed as the facetime notification lit up the screen, the name "su-bong" appearing. you had just gotten out of the shower and it was no surprise that your bestfriend was already calling you, most likely checking your location and seeing you were home.

you wasted no time in answering the phone, setting it up on the counter. su-bongs face appeared on the screen. his purple hair was in its usual messy state and a goofy smile adorned his face. "heyyy señorita" he says in a sing-song voice, and you immediately cringe at the nickname. "ew su-bong. you need to cut that out." you say, applying a bit of moisturizer on your face. he shrugs as he takes a hit of his vape, fixing his position so his head is resting on his arm whilst his other hand holds the phone.

minutes felt like hours as he rambled about some pills namgyu had given him while you were getting into bed, your eyes rolling at his boring choice of topic for a conversation. "i don't even know why you still take those pills. they're so wack." you say, pulling the sheets over your body and settling your head down on your pillow. "that's not what you thought the last time we took them." he says in a matter-of-fact tone, and you knew exactly what he was implying. "your point being?" you ask, pretending to be clueless. you knew you had to talk about it at some point; that one night su-bong invited you over.

it was a windy and cold friday night in seoul, and the walk back to your apartment had you wishing the ground would eat you alive from how stressed you were. having just gotten out of work after taking an extra shift for your "sick" co-worker, you picked up your phone and called su-bong, knowing that he knew just how to make you feel better.

the phone rang once and he immediately picked up. you put the phone to your ear, being unable to control the smile taking over your lips. "hey thanos. you awake?" you ask, using the nickname you gave him when he decided to drunkenly dye his hair purple. he lets out a low laugh, exhaling whatever he was smoking before answering. "yeah, you gonna come over?" he asks, and your answer comes out of your mouth before you can even think about it. "on my way."

upon arriving at su-bongs apartment, he was already trying to convince you to take something with him. you slid your jacket off, throwing it somewhere on the ground. you sighed as you sat on the couch, mentally thanking su-bong for wasting so much money on what was probably one of the softest couches you've ever sat on.

"come onnnn it'll be fun. please?" he begged, eagerly sitting down next to you. you allowed his request to enter your mind. you probably just needed a nap but who makes rational decisions when they're stressed? nobody..right?

"i don't know su, i feel so tired and stressed and everything is just so much." you say. he sighs as he takes off his necklace, opening the cross and showing you the pills. "please?" he pleads. you stare silently before he speaks again. "i promise it'll relieve your stress. just do this with me." you stare at him before nodding slowly, a teethy smile appearing on his face. "good choice baby. here, pick one." he says, offering the open cross to you.

you pick up a pink pill, heart racing as you look back up at su-bong. he pops a blue pill into his mouth, sending you an encouraging nod so you'd do the same. you place the pill on your tongue, thinking your heart would shoot out of your chest from how hard it was pounding as you swallowed. "now sit back and enjoy it." su-bong says, and you turn your head to look at him.

a wave of heat washed through your body as you analyzed his face. his head was resting on the back of the couch, his lips were slightly parted, heavy breaths leaving them. his eyes were closed as he manspread, resting his hands on his lap. you couldn't brush off every thought that was coming to your mind as your eyes trailed down to his lap, suddenly feeling hot inside. this had to be the drug taking its effect, right? sure you always found su-bong attractive, but he was your best friend. he was your best friend who you practically had to babysit because of his stupid actions, your best friend who defended you against your high school bully, min-ji, your best friend who was constantly throwing hints at you and you never even noticed.

"su-bong." you quietly called out to him. he let out a low hum as he opened his eyes, turning his head to look at you. whatever you did next you'll forever blame on the pill. you lunged forward, grabbing onto his face and pressing your lips on his. su-bongs eyes widened as his hands flew to your hips. he closed his eyes, and you felt him smile as he kissed you back. your mouths slowly moved in sync as you sat back, your hands resting on his shoulders. su-bong softly bit on your bottom lip, taking an opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth when you let out a low moan. your tongues slowly wrestled together and you felt yourself get soaked with arousal. his hands massaged your hips and he broke the kiss, his pretty eyes staring into yours. you slowly look down and between you, a raging boner peeking out of his pajama pants. your body suddenly felt hot and sweaty, your name leaving his lips in a quiet whisper. you pushed him back slightly and your hands trembled as you grabbed the hem of your shirt. su-bong stared into your chest as you slowly slid your shirt off, eyes dark with lust and pupils blown from the drug. he got on his knees, eyes never leaving your chest. you reached behind your back and un-did the clasp of your bra, letting the material slowly slide off your body and onto your lap.

su-bong thought he was in heaven given the sight in front of him. you quickly threw your bra aside and su-bong lunged forward, lips latching onto your neck and his hands on your breasts. you let out a soft moan when you felt him leave little marks on your neck, his head moving lower with every kiss. "fuuuck baby, never thought i'd see these in front of me like this." he whispered. your hands went to his head, massaging his scalp as he slowly latched his mouth on your left nipple, sucking and licking the soft nub. your eyes squeezed shut, the sensation feeling way stronger due to the drug.

he moved to your other nipple, tugging it softly with his teeth then sucking. "o-oh fuck don't stop su." you managed to whimper out, your underwear damp with your arousal. su-bong let out a low laugh as he moved lower, hands fumbling with the button on your pants. "relax pretty, we haven't gotten to the best part yet." he teased, a goofy smile plastered on his face. you breathed heavily as you watched him pull your pants and panties off in one swift motion, a loud gasp leaving you when his mouth latched onto your clit.

his hands snaked under your thighs, pulling you closer to him as he harshly sucked and licked at your clit. "oh god su-bong don't stop." you moaned, hands flying to his hair and tugging at the purple strands. he groaned into your pussy, tongue moving up and down collecting your wetness. "fuck you taste so fucking good." he groaned, tongue plunging in and out of your hole. tears filled your vision as you legs shook violently with pleasure. you threw your head back when you felt him spit on your clit, his lips suckling and licking the wet bud. "pussy tastes so good baby, fuck. can't get enough." you moaned at his words, your hands massaging his scalp as he lifted his head. su-bongs chin was covered in your wetness, his lips dripping with your sweet honey.

"m'close." you moaned, biting your lip at the sight of your best friend eating you out. he hurriedly flicked his tongue from side to side at your statement, keeping his pattern of focusing on both your hole and clit consistent. you felt your abdomen tighten, his living room flooding with your moans and your back arching off the couch.. he moaned and groaned into your pussy, the vibrations sending sparks of pleasure throughout your body. and then, you felt it. the coil in your stomach snapped and you choked on your moans as a wave of pleasure overtook your body, eyes squeezing shut and tears slipping out of them. su-bongs tongue moved rapidly across your pussy as you rode out your high, legs shaking violently and your hips bucking into his face.

you swallowed thickly as you looked down, pussy drenched in your arousal and su-bongs saliva. he licked his lips as he stood up, closing your legs and pulling you into a heated kiss, his hands massaging your thighs. your hands snaked down his boxers, gasping into the kiss when your thumb massaged his leaking tip. su-bong broke the kiss to pull his pajama pants down, cock springing free. you stood up and pushed him onto the couch, watching him manspread as you got on your knees. you spit on your hand, bringing it to his pulsing cock. you wrapped your hand around it and slowly pumped up and down, his angry tip oozing out pre-cum at the action. "yes baby fuck, just like that." he groaned. you smiled up at him, your eyes giving him the "fuck me" stare as you wrapped your lips around his tip. he inhaled sharply at the action, his hand making a makeshift ponytail for your hair. you sucked on his tip softly, watching how his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

"keep going baby, atta girl." he moaned. you slowly enveloped him into your mouth, holding back gags as your nose hit his pubes. you moved your mouth back up to his tip, sticking your tongue out and kitten-licking his tip. "you're such a good girl baby, fuck. who knew you suck dick so good." he groaned, his head falling back and he pushed your head back down onto his cock. the living room filled with gags and chokes as you bobbed your head up and down, tongue licking the underside of his cock in the process. your name left his lips in hurried breaths as you sucked on his cock hungrily, his salty taste becoming addicting. your left hand moved to grab his balls while your right hand wrapped around his base, pumping in sync with your mouth.

"fucking hell." he inhaled sharply and he hurriedly pulled you off his cock, his hand harshly tugging your head back by your hair. "stick your tongue out for me baby." he grunted as he pumped his cock in front of your face, watching you stick your tongue out. "such a good fucking slut. look at you on your knees for me." he groaned, taking in your sweaty and fucked-out form. hot spurts of cum shot out of his tip, coating your face in his milky release. you smiled as you swallowed the cum that landed on your tongue, a low whimper of your name leaving his lips.

you heard some rustling and su-bong came back with a wet cloth, wiping his cum off your face. you opened your eyes and stared at each other before erupting into a fit of laughter, the aftermath of what you just did processing in your mind. he lifted you up off the floor and onto the couch, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pushing your naked, sweaty body into his side. you laid there together, fingers intertwined and breathing in sync, basking in the afterglow of the intimate moment you just shared, the drugs effect still heavy in your system.

"you remember, right?" su-bong asked, pulling you out of your trance and back to the call. "y-yeah i remember. how could i not." you laughed, feeling the same warm wave of pleasure wash through your body. "i miss it, you know." he said, inhaling sharply after taking a hit of his vape. "you miss what?" you ask. you knew exactly what he was talking about, you just wanted to hear him say it. the night haunted you every single day afterwards, flashbacks of the way he sucked feverishly on your clit, or how sexy he looked with his eyebrows furrowed while you sucked on his cock replaying in your mind. you had avoided him for a week due to those flashbacks, not being able to bring yourself to respond to any of his texts or calls.

"that night." he finally responds. you nod slowly in agreement, pulling the sheets off your body due to the heat you felt. "i miss it too, su." you say, studying his face on your screen. he pauses, a comfortable silence taking over the call, before he speaks again. "can i show you how much i miss it?" he asks, a knowing grin plastered on his face. a blush consumes your cheeks and your speechless, his question catching you off guard. su-bong smirks proudly at the fact he gets you flustered so easily. "don't get all shy on me now baby. you were so hungry for this cock just last week!" he teases. "shut up!" you exclaim, the redness on your face becoming more evident. with a new boost of confidence and a pool of arousal in your panties, you sit up on your bed and lift your shirt, flashing him. a giggle leaves your lips as you pull your shirt back down, watching su-bongs face go from cocky to flustered. he groans before pointing the camera to a lower angle, his cock appearing on the screen. precum oozed from his tip, his face contorted in pleasure in the background as he stroked himself.

"c'mon baby don't leave me hanging now, show me something." he groans, pumping his cock at a slow pace. you bit your lip at his words, your mind clouded with lust. placing your phone down on your blankets, you slid your pajama pants and panties down your legs. your anxiety reached a new height as you grabbed your phone, spreading your legs and showing him the pretty sight between them. su-bong sharply inhales at the sight on his screen, pumping his cock faster. your pussy glistened with arousal, your pretty hole practically oozing with your wetness.

"touch yourself for me." he grunts, and you immediately obey, sliding your hands between your legs. your warm fingers circle your clit and you gasp, the action sending shocks of pleasure through your body. "just like that baby fuuuuck, good girl." he moans. "go lower." and once again, you obey. moving your fingers lower and lower until your middle finger is prodding at your soaked entrance. you push your finger in, back arching at the intrusion. su-bongs cock makes wet noises as he pumps himself faster, whimpers of your name leaving his lips. "feels so good, su." you moan, adding your ring finger and pumping them in and out of you slowly. "i know baby- fuck you're such a good slut for me." he moans. you match his pace as you pump your fingers faster, your moans echoing off the walls in your room. "su- fuck feels so good. i'm so close." you moan, your back arching off the bed.

"cum with me." he moans, watching how your creamy arousal oozes out of your hole. "f-fuck yes." you gasp, watching his face in the background as he stares at your pussy on his screen. su-bong groans loudly as he spills himself onto his hand, strings of cum coating it. you whine at the sight. the barrier in your abdomen snapping and a wave of hot pleasure coursing over your entire body. you rode out your orgasms together, bodies covered in sweat. slowly, you pulled your fingers out of your sensitive hole, and su-bong couldn't help but watch how pretty your pussy looked covered in your creamy release. you brought the camera to your face, sucking your own slick off your fingers. "don't do that baby. don't think i can go another round right now." he groaned playfully. you giggled as you got up, grabbing a new pair of panties and getting dressed again. when you came back from the bathroom after washing your hands, su-bong had his phone propped up on his bathroom counter, washing his own hands. you watched him quietly, a smile on your face as you got into your bed, pulling your sheets over your body.

moments of the call replayed in your head as you tried to sleep, a rush of excitement lingering in your heart. you knew this wouldn't be the last time this would happen, given su-bongs flirty and persistent personality (and how desperate he is for your attention). but you had to admit you were content with the fact that he desired you so badly, and deep down you knew you needed him just as much.

∧,,,∧ (  ̳• · • ̳) /    づ♡ mwuah!

click here!

[windyremedy]

𝐵𝒩𝐻𝒜 masterlist ⊹₊⋆ ✦ . ⁺

☀︎ — sfw ⏾ — nsfw ★ — both

BAKUGOU KATSUKI 💥

oneshots!

★ love at first watch (actor reader): bakugou had been a fan of you since he could remember. collecting merchandise and attending fan events of your shows despite not exactly being the demographic for it. when the truth comes to light about his admiration about a particular actress, his childhood dream might’ve just come true.

☀︎ i’m gonna marry her anyway (childhood friend reader): growing up with the loud mouthed boy wasn’t something your dad necessarily approved of. he’d often encourage you to steer away from him in favor of other possible friends but you two somehow always managed to stick together throughout the years. your father thought the relationship was one off and eventually it’d fade with time but things only got more serious when bakugou would ask for your fathers blessing, one that he wasn’t so keen on giving at all.

⏾ time machine mishap (omegaverse au): after volunteering to test out a time machine, you went back in the time of the dinasour era. where you get found by a certain dinasour hybrid.

☀︎ b-b-boyfriend: he wants that cookie so effing bad but reader is oblivious to it all.

☀︎ not just a fangirl: your roommates finding out the hero in your posters, the one you seemingly clearly idolized so much was actually your man.

☀︎ playing matchmakers: class a was off on a retreat when they decided that there was no better time to play match makers than now, for their two friends who obviously like each other very much. too bad it only ended up being a colossal of failures.

— domestic series

☀︎ stressful shenanigans: your husband’s reaction when your child tells you to “shut up” wasn’t what you expected.

☀︎ reeling revelation: finding out their bestfriend is a dad in the most unexpected way possible.

☀︎ puppy pleads: realizing that katsuki does everything you want ft. my dad with the dog he said he didn’t want.

drabbles!

☀︎ unamused: saying suspicious things infront of your boyfriend.

★ revoked privileges: when holding it for him goes wrong.

☀︎ goodnight: doing the tiktok trend with your ex-husband might just rekindle everything.

☀︎ meeting the parents: did not go the way you expected.

series!

☀︎ falling for you, literally (soulmate au): soulmates have been around as long as quirks have even existed, there were many kinds of ways a person could find their other half too! be it through similar tattoos or first words. but you didn’t have either of that— no, you had a book. where whenever someone would describe your soulmate it would appear on the pages. however after learning what their like you start to hope you’d never meet them. but ofcourse nothing ever goes your way.

★ redemancy (fantasy/viking! au): what happens when a stranger mistakes you as their wife after possibly being the cause of their amnesia?

★ love me not (royal! au): as the second daughter of a fallen baron family, your parents took it upon themselves to enter your older sister in the competition to possibly become the new crowned kings wife. though before things actually got finalized your sister expressed her immense displeasure and volunteered you instead. while your parents dismissed it at first you eventually become the participant to appease your sisters wishes. now you must go through the many trials the competition presents and at least get to the second round to prove your parents wrong. however you seemed to stay for a lot longer when the next leader took much more interest in you than you expected.

★ tentaclerinth (alien! au): crashing into a foreign planet wasn't one of the tasks assigned to you by the space association. but after a ship malfunction there was no other way to save yourself unless you disengaged from the spacecraft. now you must figure out a way out of this labyrinth of a planet and.....tentacles?

more tba..

TODOROKI SHOTO ❄️💥

oneshots!

☀︎ like em mean (mean girl reader): todoroki’s been told over and over that his girlfriend’s attitude isn’t the nicest and he wholeheartedly knows that. yeah you’re mean but not by so much, just enough in his opinion. here is one of the many times girls have approached him and you coming to the rescue, brutally.

more tba..

©windyremedy

(ps leave a 🍨 comment here for permanent taglist!)

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

New Year’s resolutions can be tricky when you struggle with low self-worth or body image issues. 

There may be a lot of pressure to „better yourself“. It depends on your environment and social circle, of course - but in some, that’s basically synonymous with pressure to obsess over your body. You need to „glow up“: lose weight, do a more complicated skincare routine, stress more about your body shape, work out harder, stress more about numbers, enjoy food less, pick an aesthetic and stress about fitting into that box more… 

And all that stress can be, well, pretty effing stressful. Especially if you already struggle with all the other stress factors life throws at you! Not to mention that it can easily trigger obsessive behaviors that will harm your physical and mental health. 

So, what to do? Well, the most obvious suggestion would be to just not make any resolutions at all. You have full permission to reject the tradition and refuse to treat the first day of January as some special day for making changes. (After all, it is just a day as any other! A New Year’s resolution is not more likely to succeed than a life change starting on July 18th. Or October 3rd. Or… you get my point, any random day). 

This can be a great choice if the whole concept is just too tainted with pressure for you. You can just say no to the whole thing. But what if you don’t want to? Maybe you like the idea of resolutions and just don’t like the weight/bodyshape focus. Or maybe you know you will get asked a million times anyway and you want to have a quick answer ready rather than having to defend why you don’t do that tradition. Or, if you already know you have obsessive tendencies, maybe you feel like not having one would backfire because people around you will be judgmental („oh, so you don’t have the willpower for that“ etc.) and that’ll make you choose a triggering one despite knowing that’s no good for you. 

In those cases, there are a few options: 

Choose one of the traditional „better you“ ones but focus on adding rather than restricting: instead of cutting food groups or calories, add healthy foods or habits. Add a piece of fruit to your breakfast. Try a certain number of vegetables you haven’t tried yet. Learn a new recipe every month. Try out different teas and keep a journal of which ones you like so it becomes easier to stay hydrated. Go on a walk once a week. Add some nice stretches to your morning routine and write down which ones you enjoy most. 

Choose a resolution related to skills, education or hobbies rather than your body: Read a certain number of books. Learn a language. Learn to play an instrument. Learn to knit. Challenge yourself to memorize a poem once a month. Go to at least 5 different museums this year. Teach yourself how to say your favorite word in as many languages as you can. Read up on that historical era you were always curious about. Watch a nature documentary once a week. 

Choose a resolution focused on mental or emotional health rather than physical: Write down one thing you’re grateful for every day. Dedicate 2 minutes daily to deep breathing. Commit to reaching out to your friends weekly. Go to therapy. Learn how to meditate. Celebrate your small victories more often. 

And if those options still feel too pressure-y: Choose a fun or silly one! Who says a better you needs to mean a fitter or more skilled you? Why not make a resolution to improve the quality of your life by just adding more whimsy or giggles or harmless adventure? 

Some examples: start a collection of silly socks and wear them at least once a week. Try a certain number of „outrageous“ food combinations and rate them from most to least disgusting. Commit to drawing a cat in a silly hat weekly. Learn a skill you’ll most likely never ever need in real life. Start a „affirmation journal“ and write honest-but-silly compliments about yourself in it daily (You’re so good at having eyebrows). Pet at least 20 dogs this year. Let Wikipedia choose a random topic and challenge yourself to become an expert on that topic. Watch all movies with your third favorite actor in it. Start a blog about frogs. Try as many different flavors of cake as possible. Buy something yellow once a month. Kiss your partner more often (consensually of course). Take a certain number of pictures of birds outside. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

july 2024 savanaclaw + 4koma manga updates

There's no Episode of Octavinelle chapter this month! It should also be noted that the next chapter for the Episode of Savanaclaw won't be out until DECEMBER. With that news out of the way, let's get into this month's updates ^^ (It's a lot of me screaming)

Aaaaaah, I'll never get over how pretty this mangaka draws Leona's eyes and hair 😳 LIKE LOOK AT THAT HEAD TURN BACK SHOT, DOES HE NOT LOOK LIKE HE'S A MODEL MAKING A TURN ON THE CATWALK???? ?? ? ????? ? ?? Vil... eat your heart out 🤡 (This probably is not what I should be focusing on in a chapter full of action and high stakes qwegkuvqwoevqwdsa)

The way the other characters are reacting to Leona's UM really lets us see how powerful King's Roar is! You can see how their bodies are being pushed back by the sandstorm, how they're physically bracing themselves against it (like Riddle, Ace, and Grim) or even having their vision obscured and struggling to breathe in the new dry environment (like Deuce).

I didn't share them here, but we also see Leona blowing through many Savanaclaw mobs. The sheer magnitude of power on display is really amazing--and I can see why his UM sparks fear in others.

AYO RUGGIE YOU GO He leaps at Leona and attaches himself to his dorm leader in an attempt to try and get him to stop...

(Warning: lot of barking incoming)

HUH????? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? RUGGGIEIEKZ/???? ? ? ?? ?? ? ? v LEONAKL88onanasan???a?A/a/a///A//???????v? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?ohy mMYG FUFDSKDCKCIUNG GOAFKDk dsmdasnkdfsjlbyadosibiyoadsobadfbiyoegwofaegsouqetqfe LE*inAIBN na GRABBED HJSJUIJN IM BYT THE FFUCKINGGF F NNEDCKKKK>>>>>>????v?v?v??v?v?v?v? 😱 LOOkm at thhHOW RUgigie'es sa FACE AIj ssamS BREAKJGN???? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? GSITHE SKING IS CRACKIXNG GFAN D TURNING NTO SAND ANDN LOEONA JUST DONES'T JBI EF VE A SINGLE SHITAS RUGIGIE SI WRITHTING OVER HERB E OTL

It's not like seeing Ruggie in this state is anything new; the dialogue hints at it in the game and the light novel also has an illustration of Ruggie with his skin cracking from Leona's UM. It's just... something about seeing it depicted across multiple frames + the sheer desperation in Ruggie's face (and the close-ups, MAN, the close-ups) really amplifies the emotions.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE SASUKE CHOKE MEME, ID ON'T TKNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR TO CRY OR TO BE WORRIED FOR TRUGIGIE

MAYBE ALL THREE 😭😭😭

DAHLBEFQBOUFQEYVIQEFYFQEBIPFOA But also there's a part of me screeching about L*ona gripping your neck like that while glaring at you like you're garbo 🤡

Here's the part where Riddle attempts to collar Leona and fails. Again, I MUST stress how well this mangaka draws Leona's hair and eyes, they are UNMATCHED.

OKAY FIRST IT WAS HUGGING RUGGIE'S NECK, NOW YOU'RE GRIPPING HIM BY THE HAIR????? Leona's handling the perceived traitor so callously 💦 The way Ruggie is looking back up at him, too... Caught up in Leona's shadow and glaring at him with such defiance... declaring that he will never EVER give up.., contrasted with how broken and empty Leona looks before he lets go of Ruggie... telling him to just give into despair… It's a lot of complicated feelings going on right now. As the Savanaclaw light novel elucidates, Leona was afraid of his own dorm members looking to him for leadership, afraid that they would make him hopeful again--because he expects to be let down like he has all those other times he tried to prove his merits. Now everything leading up to this point has proven him right, toppled that hope he had built up because he let himself be taken in by the starry eyed students under him, Ruggie included. AND NOW LOOKING AT RUGGIE, ON THE GROUND AND IN DESPAIR, IS A REFLECTION OF LEONA'S OWN FEELINGS... BUT HE WON'T LET HIMSELF CRY OR BE WEAK LIKE THAT 💀

WOW UH This feels really different from how the same "Leona tried to sand Ruggie" scenes played out in other interpretations of TWST. Here, we more clearly see that, despite the interruption of Riddle trying to collar Leona (which made Leona drop Ruggie for a second), LEONA JUST TURNS RIGHT BACK AROUND AND FULLY COMMITS TO SANDING RUGGIE????? That's so stone cold 😭 Look at the lack of care in Leona's eyes???? They're so blank, he has entirely given up :((

What a way to end a chapter...

Now for a complete tonal shift--

This month's 4koma (there's only one "segment") stars Sebek, who is receiving praise from Crewel for having the top exam score! Ace and Sebek proceed to work on Enigmics/Magic Analysis together. They are stated to share this class together in the game, so that's a consistent bit of lore for ya! In the end, Sebek's able to pull a transportation spell by visualizing where Malleus is. He earns an apple from Crewel for being a "good boy"!! Sebek is then asked to teleport the apple to Malleus and Lilia to demonstrate his mastery of the skill, but accidentally teleports a ton of them.

That's it for this month! A little less content than usual, but still quite substantive. We're getting down to the wire; soon we'll see both Leona and Azul's OBs!!

[briochecheese]

unusual long post but I had to talk the obvious out

WHY CLAIRECARMY DOESN’T MAKE EFFING SENSE!!!

Clairecarmy doesn’t make sense cause, for me, the show made it very clear that they aren’t the real thing and that Carmy clearly finds more peace in Syd than in Claire.

And it would be a complete waste of time to just ignore the whole development towards Carmy and a romantic relationship.

The bear is a show about mental health and family. I think Carmy sees himself as some kind of outsider inside his own family (which for me was really obvious in S1), then Syd comes in as this outside force that’s also trying to fit in with all the madness happening in that kitchen.

I believe that what made Carmy trust her so much that he thought they could open a restaurant together (even tho they knew eachother for some weeks during S1) was the fact he thought he could rely on her and, perhaps, find family in her.

Also, Carmy deals a lot with anxiety, stress and pressure. It wouldn’t make sense for him to be with someone like Claire, that was many times shown as someone who made Carmy anxious, instead of Syd, who is shown as someone who brings him a sense of peace.

In the end, Carmy will have to accept that he can’t change everything around him in order to make him more comfortable, he will have to get better and adapt to his exterior, which means finding peace. Syd is peace for him, and I hope he realizes it.

[pressurereunited]

Scene: Thank you, Damien. (Part Two) A Father's reassurance.

(Damien stood at the entry vent to his father's shop, he was shaking... How the hell was he going to explain this to him? If not now, later... Might as well get it over with. He entered the shop, thankfully his little siblings were with his mom, thank God. He heard the familiar sound of scales on the ground, RU Sebastian slithered up to Damien. Shock, concern, relief, and panic in his eyes.)

RU Sebastain: "Thank God you're okay... You... You were gone for hours... I was going to go out and look for you... What... What happened to you? Are you hurt?"

(Damien teared up, and began to cry.)

Damien: "I... I just wanted to save her... Because she was dying and... I should've told you-"

RU Sebastian: "Told me what? What happened?"

(Damien told RU Sebastain everything, from Eyefestation revealing that she's dying, the request for a host to the actions he took for her, to the result (his new eyes)... To Eyefestation's death, to how he's now the host for Eyefestation.)

RU Sebastain: "Oh son... Why didn't you tell me?"

Damien: "I... I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, DAD. I just... I just wanted to help- (he sobs into his Dad's chest) fucking hell... I didn't think- now she's gone and I-"

RU Sebastain: "Hey, hey... Calm down... Take a breath... Okay? You felt it was necessary to save your friends, I understand... Trust me I do son. It was a choice made under pressure, whilst I wish I was informed BEFORE you made this choice... I understand why you did it. You just wanted to help... However next time, PLEASE tell me before you do something extreme like that... Okay?"

Damien: "Yes sir... (His many eyes blink.) I'm sorry... It's just so much..."

RU Sebastian: "I know... I know..."

(RU Sebastain hugs his son close, giving him that grounding reassuring hug only fathers are capable of giving.)

RU Sebastian: "(Looks Damien in the eyes, and smiles.) Listen, I'm just happy you're not horribly injured... Or worse. We certainly have a lot to figure out with these new... Additions to yourself, but we'll figure this out together, okay? Come on... I'll make you some tea, and turn on the radio... Pretty sure "Fur Elise" is playing, that's your favorite..."

Damien: (Sniffles and smiles up at RU Sebastian) "I... It is my favorite. You... you always know how to make me feel better... Thanks father.... Sorry for yelling, sir."

RU Sebastian: "You're okay, and Of course, son... It's my job... No matter what you do through, you can always rely on your old man for a chat, tea, and a grounding hug. Now... Take a seat, take some deep breaths... We'll get through this, Damien. It's okay... Okay?"

Damien: "Okay. (Chuckles) Oh man... Mom, April, and The Brood are going to freak out when they see me... Aren't they?"

RU Sebastain: "(Chuckles) Oh absolutely... That's why you rely on your old man for a calmer reaction."

Damien: "(Chuckles) Damn right... (softer) Damn right... I love you Dad."

RU Sebastain: "Love you more, son... Eyes and all."

(The two sit in that peaceful silence, and Damien felt softer than he ever had, despite losing EF, and desire becoming the host for The Eyefestation... He still knew he could always rely on his dad, RU Sebastian to reach into that part of him that's full of stress and anxiety... And RU Sebastian would always ease that stress away.)

[miimo96]

Thoughts on Madoka magica walpurgisnaught rising Trailer 2

AAAAAHHH OMG WE'RE SO BACK! Oh my god juat look at my 2 Lovebirds ^^ not even 2 minutes in and Already the animation Looks absolutely Beautiful and I can't stress this enough but just seeing Madoka and Homura dancing again hand and hand just makes me all warm and Fuzzy inside AHHHHHH ^w^

What's this, NEW Characters!? 👀 I'm guessing these are probably either magical girls who almost became witches or people from the side series Madoka magica Record, either way this is already looking to be the most Unique outta the franchise, Also yay Cheese/bebe/Nagisa is back ^_^

Can we all just appreciate how Madoka magica Never fails to make its scenery ABSOLUTELY Beautiful, Like I don't even know what this is but just WOW, I already get the feeling we're going to be getting some more biblical or symbolic representations here, And all for it >_<

Uh oh, Looks like someone didn't heed Homura's Warning, I'm guessing that's probably why She looks like that, knowing her she probably either tried stopping Homura and tried fixing things back to way it was, and as punishment got Seriously messed up, word of advice Sayaka, Next time don't MESS with Homura ^^

YOOOUUUU!? Why is HE back!? OMG NO Get this mother f$%ker Outta her NOW! GET OUT! GET OUUTTT!! I already get a bad feeling with him being around, I get that Homura Needed him to whatever the hell she needed him to do but No I just can't with him and judging from what I'm seeing, he's looking pretty better than Last time!? What the hell man!?

Omg I SO can't wait for this movie, already 2025 is Looking like a good year, and I gotta feeling I know how this Thing is going to end, and it I'll be with be with me crying in a theater for 10 EFFING MINUTES, that and maybe Homura and Madoka MIGHT end up becoming Gods together, because I feel like that's the only way this movie can end; Homura's whole deal is that she believes that Madokas whole sacrifice Wasn't what she Really wanted, she believes that even though Madoka sacrificed herself to save everyone else, it isn't what SHE really wanted in the end, if ya wanna know what I'm talking about check out rebellion and watch the scen with Madoka and Homura having a heart to heart, the part where she's braiding Homura's hair ^^ Anyway with Homura having that mindset now We get to the point of where we are now, but the thing IS, yes while what Madoka said is True, it wasn't really the mindset she had going in when she sacrificed her existence, to Save all magical girls; she was Fine with doing this and being alone if it meant saving her friends, ESPECIALLY even Homura, Because what she was doing with Time travel previously, was technically Cursing her, basically Madoka sacrificed herself to save Homura, not just the other magical girls, in the end, it was all for Homura.

Homura believes that what she is doing, is for Madoka's sake, when in reality, it's actually hers, Because she couldn't handle being Alone, she ended up going against Madoka's wishes, and Reset the world once again, with the excuse "That it's what Madoka would've wanted" Homura's whole character arc is that she's Selfish, she'll do ANYTHING to be Madoka, even if it means Destroying the world, *sigh *I wish I could word this better but I think the Only way this series could end, is if both of them end up becoming "Gods" let me explain. Since neither of them is willing to give the other one up, and pretty much always ends up sacrificing themself for each other, i think the only way we really could see this series end on a "Happy" ending, is if the 2 of them both end up becoming Gods, and remake the world into THEIR Image; that way none of them is Alone and they don't have to suffer anymore, they can BE the creators of their New world and have each other by their side, since they basically represent 2 halfs of Yin and yang, from the colors of their outfits, (Madoka's being light, Homura's being Dark,) to their personalities, (1 being Selfless the other being SELFISH,) they can basically act as the Law and Order of their New world, and run things how they see fit, both being the embodiments of Oder and Chaos. I think that would be a pretty good way to send things off and in my opinion, would really be a cool ending for these 2 character's arcs, Since they've already been through so much it would only make sense for this would be their ending, It would be an ending that's not completely Heartbreaking, but is just Bittersweet, they won't get to live together in the real world, but they WILL have each other, and I think the thing that really proves this and that sent me down this rabbit hole to begin with, was the end credits of Rebellion, Where it depicts 2 girls, (That look VERY similar to Madoka and Homura) walking hand and hand off into the Abyss, which to me is a metaphor for the afterlife or where ever the heck magical girls when they're taken by the Law of cycle, possibly representing those 2 becoming GODS together, basically Sharing the same fate and running the world as they see fit.^^

Anyway yeah, Totally can't wait for this Movie , Oh i feels SOO Good to be back baby ^^ See ya in 2025

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

the idea of a "not zombie plague" at the hotel.... what an effing comedy it could be...

thanks @sunsetcougar and @insert-funny-name-here69 for making me picture it XD

Vaggie comes back from Cannibal Town snuffling, no big deal, maybe it's all those feathered hats and fur stoles (sUSaN) or nice flowers or whatever. Vaggie goes to bed like normal, wakes up the next day GROANING, stiff and grumpy and shuffling around the hotel

Oh no!- Charlie the protective gf cries- what if there's some hellborn illness angels are weak towards??? It's time to physically carry Vaggie back to bed for rest (and keep doing that a few times until it sticks and she puts Razzle on guard at the door) (also print out and past their room's windows with pics of her own pleading pout so Vaggie won't try flying to freedom again) (and crashing again)

well this is kinda a weird and kinda funny for the rest of the hotel... until the Symptoms start to spread

sneezing is the first stage, the infection fun, a sign you've already got it, but everyone wants to blame Susan and Susan's specific perfectly matching (aka hostile harsh and annoying) choice of perfume lingering around the hotel, so they all (not vaggie) (vaggie thinks susan is The Coolest) just walk around sneezing and yelling "FUCK YOU SUSAN" afterwards instead of "bless you" or whatever

loss of appetite isn't that big a deal at first- between the guy with the drug addiction, his friend also with a drug addiction, an alcoholic, a tiny woman who can fill up on a single ritz cracker, a guy who eats rotting dear corpses, a pig who regularly gets his appetite spoiled with treats, an egg boi who doesn't know what he eats without his boss around to tell him, a goat demon stuffie hell bent on only consuming doughnuts, a demon princess too busy singing and scheming happiness plans to do things like SLEEp never mind EAT, her girlfriend who will care about stuff like hunger once everything else is taken care of and not a second before, an the KING of hell who hasn't even had an appetite for LIFE in ages.... no one notices the lack of eating going on at first, until it's Too Late

stiffness and aching of the joints has everyone complaining when it hits tho. Angel Dust is pissed it got in the way of his performance. Husk feels old again and gets grumpy when he gets called old man which makes him even MORE grumpy. Niffty enjoys it for 4 minutes until it throws off her rat kill rate. Alastor pretends to feel nothing but every time he moves there's a horrible CRACK from any and all bending joints and Cherri finds him stiffly stuck in a chair a least once. Cherri is the best off bc she mainly just feels like she got blown up and is used to it. Vaggie is having flash backs to the pain and weakness right after losing her first wings- Charlie wants to help but is hunched over so far she regularly rests her chin on Vaggie's head and doesn't have the energy to drag her back to bed. Lucifer is ACTUALLY hobbling around using his cane, snapping to false casualness whenever someone looks his way, secretly using a rubber duck as a stress ball. They grudgingly agree they can't blame this one on Susan (actually...) and migrate to the lobby as a group, trying to figure out what KIND of hell bug they've somehow caught.

Now is where the loss of appetite finally gets notices. Vaggie dragged out some food for the war council and NO ONE can stand even LOOKING at it. there are, however, at lot of OTHER looks going around....

Husk edges away from Angel, who's eying him even more hungrily than usual but without any of the sultriness. Niffty scuttling past gets his attention and makes his tail do the little pre-pound wiggle as he sinks his claws into the sofa to keep from FOR REAL pouncing. Cherri is staring at her bestie Angel Dust and gritting her many sharp teeth at the hallucination that he's limbs are actually full of drugs. Alastor's eye is twitching, the hotel gusts all having taken on the shape of deer carcasses from his point of view. Lucifer is fine until he looks over at Vaggie- he looks away instantly and shoves his ducky in his mouth to BITE, panics, yanks it free again, and when he looks down it's morphed into a stylized duck version of Vaggie with bite marks. Vaggie has gone dead quiet and is staring at her future father in law, clutching her spear, mentally roasting him over hellfire on a spit in her mind's eye.

Charlie sees all this happening like what is going ON guys, why are you all acting so... sooooo............Hm. Charlie wonders aloud if Razzle, Dazzle, and the Egg Boi have always had such a close resemblance to juicy little roast chickens?

Then Niffty bites Husk's tail and the hotel is overrun from the inside

it's not a ZOMBIE plague- it's CANNIBAL FLU- and now sinners are chasing sinners down the halls with knives and forks, Charlie is trying NOT to eat the little hellborn as they try and fail to nibble on her lanky limbs, and Vaggie and Lucifer-

there is a new hole in the hotel where Vaggie tackled her future dad in law through the roof and now anyone looking the hotel has great view of them both snarling, circling each other in the air, spitting out mouthfulls of feathers from successfully blocking each other's bites while failing to to grab any FLESH with their own

Thankfully Rosie had finally gotten wind of Vaggie leaving with a 'slight head cold' last time and waltzes over just in time to toss some of her best stock into the hotel, a fine selection of sinner, hellborn, and even some leftover angel steaks from the battle, smartly distracting the hotel crew from hunting and tearing into each other instead

One very upsetting but ENERGETIC meal later, the blankly traumatized (and blood spattered) hotel crew huddle in groups back in the over turned lobby, listening as Rosie assures them the worst is over and they should be good as gore by tomorrow morning!

Alastor politely informs Roise that the mention of gore at just that moment might not have been the BEST choice of words

right on cue, Husk starts making hairball noises, and everyone else looks suddenly sick

Vaggie sighs, patting her gf on the back as Charlie tearfully hugs Razzle after having had her jaw unhinged in preparation of swallowing him whole when Rosie made her timely arrival (Razzle forgives her, he was planning to try devouring her from the inside out or die trying) (meanwhile Charlie had put both Fatty Nuggets and the Egg Boi on a frying pan and was preparing to have a nice cozy ghibli-style family meal- of friendship. literally. of friends)

-alright, Vaggie gives in, fine. Just one time I'll say it too.... Who do we blame for all this?

SUSAN everyone growls

this reminds Rosie to pass out the "shove your groaning up your asses" cards Susan made for all of them, which are, of course, scented

Vaggie sneezes at the scent and there's a stampede as everyone not wildly in love with her tries to run and save themselves

cannibal flu. it puts the "i" in cannibal as in that's what it makes YOU

cannibals are immune to this party bc they would barely even notice if they had it, for them, it's just suddenly turning into picky eater for a few days until the craving is satisfied :3 sometimes with your next door neighbor but really, isn't that what neighbors are for~?

(charlie falls into bed that night, exhausted, only to look around at a strange chewing noise)

(it's vaggie. on the window seat, hunched over with wings huddled around herself, looking up frozen in the act of gnawing on lute's torn off and left behind arm)

Vaggie: ".... Susan sent it over for me, special."

Charlie: "Uh huh."

Vaggie: "I'm not sick anymore! I just, was kinda curious..."

Charlie: "Vaggie, I support you biting the arm of the woman who tore out your eye. And you look great smeared with angelic blood." (pouting) "....but can you be cannibal curious in the morning and snuggle with me now?"

Vaggie: (tossing lute's arm into the bathroom) "Always, sweetie."

Charlie: "Mmm gooood. Now kisses!"

Vaggie: "Shit wait, I should wash my mouth-"

Charlie: "Or not?"

Vaggie: "..not?"

Charlie: "I'm kinda curious too~"

and thus was Susan's cannibal propaganda successfully spread, by the power of gay love, and how hot the demon princess of hell thinks it is when her angel girlfriend is spattered with someone else's blood

[copperbadge]

lightwit

I love your mindfulness posts. I personally hate the concept of mindfulness with a passion because to me that's just normal being human and using your effing brain properly, but as an educator I have had to accept the fact that manymany people do not in fact have much self awareness and actually do benefit from this mumbojumbo. So, I am so glad I am not the only one struggling out here. 😜

I hope it's okay if I pop this into its own post because it actually gets at something I'm contending with. So, in order to get my research lined up and my thoughts in a row for therapy I turned all this research into a powerpoint called "Doing A Stupid Powerpoint For My Stupid Mental Health". And one of the slides in it is titled "Mindfulness: Petition To Rename It".

Mindfulness, as a term, is uselessly broad; it's such a bad way to identify a category of treatment/behavior that there appears to be an entire subgenre of scientific papers that work to create a framework of what Mindfulness actually is -- I read at least three papers, all published in the last ten years, that are like "What is Mindfulness in a useful sense?" and all of them had different answers. And because Mindfulness is now a buzzword, if you're researching it then you're likely to run into everything from scholarly articles to pop journalism to clickbait, to both harmless and genuinely dangerous peddlers of quack science. And sometimes the quack scientists are also publishing scholarly articles where they've just been p-hacking.

So I'm inclined to agree that mindfulness is mostly nonsense, but that's a problem with the term, not what falls underneath it. There are therapeutic modes that call themselves mindfulness that actually are rooted in real science. I think these should probably have a new name, like Therapeutic Awareness or something, but it'd just get co-opted back into the woo, I have a feeling.

So there's a lot of nonsense, but the goal of being present in the moment and self-aware isn't an idle one; there's an increasing body of knowledge suggesting that it's a foundational skill for emotional regulation and healthy coping. The scholarship goes way beyond "mindfulness arises from Buddhist practice" which if I have to read one more time I'm gonna throw stuff. Clinical testing is looking at things like physiological responses to mindfulness behaviors that have nothing to do with what's going on in your conscious mind. There's some woo surrounding "Coherent Breathing" and I don't trust the foremost proponent of it as far as I can throw him, but he didn't invent it, and testing shows that people trained in and practicing Coherent Breathing have better focus and can, to an extent, lower the level of stress hormone in their body. "Positive affect" (happy emotions) didn't rise, but "Negative affect" (sadness, anger, stress etc) was lowered.

A lot of what's being studied on a clinical level involves us as humans somehow activating shit in our nervous system that we have no conscious control over, the same way we develop muscle memory by doing a task repeatedly. That has measurable value for the issues I'm trying to solve, but it's not universally applicable, which is another reason so much of mindfulness comes across as junk science, because it tries to tell us that it's a cure-all when it isn't.

But there's reason to believe that if you can reroute your nervous system when you're starting to become upset, you can short-circuit maladaptive reactions and prevent it from causing a spiral or an over-reaction or similar, and some practices called mindfulness can train for that. And that's my goal, so I'm willing to rummage in the garbage for the gold.

[featheryminx]

hate post under the cut! this is so petty and purely a form of stress relief bc it’s finals season and i need some unserious venting. do not engage if ur a fan of buckt*mmy :) thanks

truly i have no words for this one. Girl what do you mean That Ship brought you so much joy you started watching 911 for them, and then stopped when they broke up? this isn’t like that egregious by their standards it just. it just boggles the brain.

why the fuck would chris meddle in this? these are grown ass men and he is a teenager who has a whole world of other problems, be serious. I also love how Those Shippers are so adamant that buck isn’t like that important or intertwined with Chris, up until they can use Chris as a plot point for their (bad) ship

okay so first of all—the 118 were never his friends. Like we gotta get that straight. He (can’t even say That Man bc that’s too ace attorney coded LOL) literally made chim & hens professional lives like, miserable? He was an active proponent of discomfort and harm and you think that the 118 is supposed to be on his side ever? no.

also like between Buck and Him, the 118 would never ever choose him. Like what the fuck does OP mean “the breakup has proven they aren’t his friends” as if there was something to disprove? There was no evidence suggesting that the 118 were his friends for that guy to even feel betrayed by. They just did not give a fuck about him.

you’re just making him italian to give him a cute plot point italian grandma? Talk about making him more and more eddie coded… like we already have Abuela we don’t need another grandma who speaks a diff language and has cute little names for buck. like this is literally just ripping off of eddies character bc you have nothing better to give this cardboard man who is Eddie Lite in every other way as well. (sorry to OP not a dig on your actual writing, it’s just the eddie-ification of your blorbo that bothers me)

WHAT IS YOU BITCHES OBSESSION WITH SAL? IF IM REMEMBERING CORRECTLY SAL WAS ALSO A WEIRD RACIST FREAK! are you weird and racist? is that why you’re obsessed with weird racists? grow up.

GET BUCKS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH how dare you suggest that a song could apply to buck & temu and also sal/temu? gross. ALSO see above for my criticism of sal & temu obsessed weirdos.

so you think a racist, disrespectful clown is easier to stomach than someone having safe, sane, consensual sex? Like let me remind you—Temu was ridiculously paternalistic towards Buck all the time, and never respected him (first date, the way he talked about him to hen and karen) and is also canonically racist and misogynistic and also apparently has no remorse over the way he treated his beard or no respect for her as a human… and you think THAT is easier to stomach than a guy having casual sex? shows where your priorities lie.

GET MY GIRLS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. he was so dismissive of their concerns in that deleted scene and u want more of those interactions? no baby. absolutely not.

el em ef ay oh. that’s all.

why the FUCK would he be involved, bffr. like practically, we know this is an athena plot. and also. DING DONG THE WITCH IS FUCKING DEAD and he’s not coming back. cope. seethe.

ugh i can’t add more images? okay i’ll just transcribe the post it’s short. basically it’s a snippet of a scene where Temu says “I’ve got your back”, because of course they have nothing better to do than steal from the buddie dynamic. like. that’s just embarassing.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep6 Musings: Loumand (Spoilers)

Armand stressed me TF out this episode; I can't believe they had me yelling at my favorite TVC book character this much on this dang show. But I still stand by what I said about him having good intentions--

--but by god does this man make the worst decisions for the best reasons.

FACTS, I can't stand modern art. The first vamp capitalist, faaaacts.

The first vamp pilot--Louis WANTS to fly now!? Or maybe it's just the Cloud Gift that freaks him out; a vampire taking him up without his control/consent?

I cannot BELIEVE they're banging in Armand's office right in front of that flimsy glass door--that's why the coven hated y'all. 🤦 Rubbing in their faces that Lou can do whatever--and whoever--he wants.

OF COURSE that mofo was gonna say No--DUH! Lou, Armand don't want Lestat's spawn, he wants Lestat's SEED, there's a DIFFERENCE. 😅

He. Didn't. NO. The attitude in Lou's neck rolls had me QUAKING. AMC is leaning IN to Armand withholding more than Lestat, jfc. 😬

It was NOT ok, Armand. That was your cue to be part of the family, and join Lou as he went to the IVF clinic to get his eggs fertilized with YOUR seed, MORON. 🤦 Y'all could've been the Le Russe/Romanus family! Now they'll always be Lioncourts! 😩 Alexa, play Rolling in the Deep, cuz they could've had it all! 😔🎵 🎶

☝️ SAY IT LOUDER! ☝️

Roleplay don't mean ISH outside the bedroom--just cuz Armand's a subby bottom don't mean he didn't hold ALL the power the whole time; eff what Lou said, asked or "ordered." I said back in S1: Les & Armand HUMOR Lou, and let him pretend to be in charge (X X). It's called POWER IMBALANCE.

It looks like childbirth gone wrong.

Lou going from battered wife depression in S1 to post-partum-depression in S2. 😔 So Loius tried to kill himself again? By bleeding out? Throwing up all the blood he drank from Madeleine. Dang.

What "you did to yourself" is a little inaccurate, considering it was YOUR insensitive words that triggered him and made him want to yeet himself into the sun! This is what I always mean by Armand taking advantage of Louis' agency, cuz Louis was CLEARLY not in his right mind at the time to be asking for anything THAT serious, which he NEVER would've done elsewise.

So, 3 days after Louis' failed suicide attempt, he asked for his mind to be wiped--cuz he was still TRAUMATIZED, Armand! 🤦

Lou got high as a kite (if he was ever sober in SanFran.....)

Nearly killed the first human who managed to get anywhere towards helping him process his PTSD--if not just VENT a bit; as he hadn't spoken Lestat's name in 20+ years by that point.

Vented all his resentment to Armand for being hella boring

Was triggered by Armand telling Louis Claudia never loved him, wtf

Tried to kill himself by burning himself alive in the first sunrise he'd seen since Paul's suicide

Burnt to a crisp, he has to watch Armand torture TF out of Daniel, begging for his life & powerless to do anything

Then lay there all crispetty cracketty crunchetty and hear Armand have a effing telephone call with LESTAT

He even told OIdmaniel he'd been in so much pain he blanked out

Armand said drugs did a number on Dan's mind--Louis DIED an alcoholic; he was turned while he was drunk, and I bet mental illness runs in his family, too. So what damage was done to LOUIS' mind when he was in SanFran getting stoned every night b4 you scrambled his brain, Armand?!

Daniel's mind is sharp, yes, but his body sure ain't. Armand caused Daniel's Parkinsons--if it's even really Parkinsons, and not just the consequences of 6 days of bodily & mental torture, as his arm was crushed, head bashed, nose bled, and muscles were contorted. "To protect me, from YOU, my Molloy"--we been knew. "Why did I owe YOU my shame...my one act of cowardice?" Oh, you mean selling Claudia & Louis down the effing river?!

I'd bet money that Armand was so shook seeing Louis' reaction to what he said about Claudia hating Louis, and was so terrified of being on permanent suicide watch, that he was RELIEVED to have the chance to wipe Louis' memory, and soften the blow of his own culpability in WHY Claudia died hating Louis. Cuz she was HAPPY at that cafe with y'all! What happened AFTERWARDS, Armand!?

Why would vamps cheer and drink with alcohol; y'all shoulda known something was up; with this JUDAS at the effing table.

Why tf is Armand sleeping in Claudia's coffin? I guess Loumand doesn't share Louis' the way Loustat did. But better question: Why TF are they still in that flat?! I'd've left Paris for good; that was stupid of them to stay in coven territory. But I guess we know why Armand didn't insist they leave. 😒

Louis and Madz have tension. :(

This poor boy just CANNOT help himself, LOL.

LOLOLOLOLOL! Madz is NOSEY, spill all the tea, girl, yaaas! XD (The bass in Lou's voice when he says BIIIIIG HEAD nearly put me in a stretcher--omfg it was IMPROVISED!?)

👀 Yeah, he knows, alright. Knows you'll forgive him, Lou.

Cuz he felt he had nothing left if he didn't have you.

Cuz Santiago was right:

Speak of the devil, carrying the effing burlap sacks.

I could never sit there that calm and talk about all that without lunging over and pulling every follicle out of Armand's head.

Omg it's a matinee in DAYLIGHT, it's happening right then & there. 😭☀️

💀

[srbachchan]

DAY 5843

Jalsa, Mumbai Feb 16/17, 2024 Fri/Sat 4:03 am

Many send greetings and wishes for Basant Panchami - the day Abhishek was born, was that auspicious day - and all obviously desire a response ..

But the volume of work is large and time consuming, hence an acknowledgement here on the Ef platformic Home ..

The day begins in the hours of laziness .. and matures to some discussions on management .. not having any presence or education in this rather complicated sphere .. it never has, or never shall be, understood by the rest ..

But .. the argument is that just when you become a recognised face, an entire Universe is created around it ..

For, it is assumed that the individual has been gifted with solutions and answers to all that needs them .. at birth ..

Wrong !!

No .. we are not proficient for this job or work .. dumb as hell and immature in its outlook .. we consider the advice given by those in the echelons of management ..

But choosing the right people, and extracting the work protocol from them is another management task ..

So there is reliance on others of trust to find and appoint such to be able to manage affairs, without giving any stress to the creator .. in a sense giving the individual an apparatus that gives the personality, relief from day to day running of his schedule and curriculum and protocol .. and an entire gamut of work now being handled by the TEAM - an oft used word in today's times .. bringing sufficient relief for the professional to have the freedom of thought and mind to conduct what he or she feel about their work .. and to be conducted in a manner that takes care ..

When my own choice of recruiting individuals has been, and is, a most trying experience .. I would be the happiest to find that my management, looks after, all else and gives me peace of mind to concentrate on what is believed to be my forte ..

😒

It is all very well to conceive and ideate what creatively may be of interest to me .. but does it also attract a similar sentiment with the rest .. is what my dilemma is !

In today's world there is no dearth of set ups, organisations in consultancy , that take charge of the situation and brings the joy and independence, from what seems to me to be far too complicated ..

I also feel that, many offer services in their grace towards me .. and I never feel comfortable to be seeking obligation from any other, even when the gravest condition is blown upon , coerces you to share the issue with those that are in proficiency related positions ..

Yes, there are dime a dozen organisations that readily take up this job and bring it to fruition .. but how to demonstrate to them what is it that gives comfort .. for, there is no time for trial and error .. now ..

And ever the fear , whether I am losing something or not, in having gone about it in a systematic professional manner ..

Many give opinion, that if the boat sails safe and comfortably in the oceans of the existent Universe .. why rock the boat at all ..

And the dilemma again .. in finding out that what was before, was the best methodology, than what is being desired now ..

Ahh .. life is so complicated .. !!

And then the learnings from Babuji and the return to his thoughts and wisdom .. make way and suddenly everything falls into place ..

For I am certain whenever any of us has faced an issue, the first thought that comes to mind is .

"what would Babuji and Ma have done in such decision making situations .."

And suddenly everything falls into place ..

The human psychology ever thrashes any fixed or formed ideas, and thoughts on issue ..

The most oft repeated being ..

" when I have 1x .. how has the other got 3x ..

And this becomes the base of diffident thinking, which propels one to compete and fight to beat .. and win ..

BUT .. just as you have succeeded in this trail and laughing your way to the bank , nature throws another sidewinder gauntlet moment , challenging all that you may have felt comfortable with ..

Hence either you get out of bed and determine the mind and body to fight .. or merely accept the condition, lie back quilted , and reminisce the days gone by ..

Remember .. enough is never enough ..

Love and more ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Since Gary is giving up being CEO for his health, would he still be able to work doing conferences and advocacy? I'm feeling all the feels imagining him and Ef travelling around the world together and Ef exploring and taking loads of photos while Gary does conferences and then relaxes with Ef do tourist activities 😄

Hi anon,

would he still be able to work doing conferences and advocacy?

This is actually the part that he has to give up the most - which was why it was the part he gave up first in the story sadlkfjdsa

More under the Read More:

Long-haul flights from Australia are absolutely brutal. People aren't made to fly for 18-24 hours in one direction to the places in the world that most conferences are held. I wish I was exaggerating on the amount of time, but actually with how bad stopovers and delays can be now, that can easily blow out to 30+ hours for someone from Perth wanting to go to the UK, Europe, or the USA.

Conferences themselves are not relaxing. A lot of the time - especially if you've taken the effort to do that much flying in the first place - you don't get a chance to recover from jetlag before you're already thrust into endless meetings, liaising with other psychologists/scientists/philanthropists/people who can fund Hillview, the actual speech and speech preparation, remembering to eat at least one meal a day (anyone who has ever had a significant role in a conference knows it's hard to get any food at all, which is why it's good to have a personal assistant making sure you're at least getting something).

There's a reason so many people in high-level white collar jobs of the kind that involve many business conferences take cocaine to survive it all T.T Gary's 'many many espressos a day' habit didn't come from nowhere.

Conferences are usually dense and packed by nature. Gary would also be interested in attending other speeches/panels, and would likely be beset by other people wanting to talk to him whenever someone recognised him, which would be often. Efnisien would not be able to handle the noise, the number of alphas, would be jetlagged, and gets fatigued easily. So we can probably assume the entire conference Efnisien will be recovering in a hotel room and avoiding everyone.

Conferences can be fictionalised to be fun excuses to travel (and I'm sure for some people they are that), but unfortunately the Underline the Black canon has already established them as extremely exhausting undertakings.

In fact the first time Gary needs to cancel his conference because of Efnisien, his first response (that isn't annoyance at Efnisien) isn't 'oh no I don't get to travel now' but relief. That's the first time he realises he can actually spend time with Efnisien.

Like, there's a difference between being kind of 'outsiders' and attending a conference to visit one panel. That's a tourist trip! But when you're on the inside of a conference as a special guest, that is not a tourist trip. That is work, that's why you get paid to be a special guest / guest a lot of the time. Your time is valuable, and you get compensated for it.

Efnisien has pretty severe agoraphobia, which is unreliable and flares up simply when he goes somewhere 20 minutes from his home base. As someone with moderate agoraphobia myself, travelling is something I love in theory, but actually loathe in practice. It is basically 'how to become stressed and permanently sicker: the speedrun.'

Don't get me wrong, I think Efnisien's agoraphobia will have improved by the end of the story, but it won't ever be 100% gone or something he never has to think about. But I can't think of anything worse for him than kind of putting him on a plane and sending him overseas. Efnisien's big achievements are in...him going to a shopping centre, or going to see a movie for the first time. It's special if he gets to enjoy taking photos of landscapes or nature, or people or cafes. His dream isn't 'sights from around the world' and it never has been.

(Standard caveat that of course if this is what you want for him go for it! And it can be made real in fanfic or in other ways as well. Giving characters we love our own dreams or the things that make us personally happy is how we get to enjoy them most. It might not suit the canon, but the best part about characters is that once we have a version of them in our heads, they're completely free from being burdened by the canon, and can do whatever we like and want them to do :) ).